How to make a BIG life change: Step Two- Commit to Making the Leap

SHello, hello!  Happy summer to everyone.  It feels, once again, like a long time since my last post, but I have been spending much of my time preparing for the launch of the new and improved website.  Finally, the construction is over and the site has been launched, and I am so proud of it.  My last blog entry introduced the six-step process for how to make a BIG life change, with the introduction of Step One: Allow Yourself to Dream, along with some tips on how to do exactly that.  So, it’s time now to introduce you to Step Two.

Now, before you get your knickers in a twist, please keep in mind that this second step falls into the gentle category of “still not having to bust a move”, but we are getting closer to the time in which, yes, a move must be busted, and you may find yourself slightly anxious about it. . . It will behoove you, however, to allow yourself to move forward into the next stage, while reminding yourself that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do– except we already know that you want to make a change, otherwise you wouldn’t have read this far. Right?

So, without further ado:

STEP TWO: COMMIT TO MAKING THE LEAP

After feeling into the dreaming that you’ve allowed yourself, this step is made when you realize that if you turn back from that dreaming, you are denying your soul something that it wants.

Now, souls are interesting creatures.  They sometimes want you to do things for your growth that you don’t want to do.  That “you” being your physical body that is fragile and vulnerable and will eventually die, as well as your personality mind that is frightened–that doesn’t want to listen to your soul.   And that’s okay.  You don’t have to listen.  Unless, of course, you do.

When you commit to making a leap, you are saying, I don’t know when or how I am going to do this, but I know that I can, and I know that I will.  And this statement is the one that you come back to, each and every time you falter.  Each and every time you (or someone else) tries to talk you out of it, and you (or someone else) will try to talk you out of it.  This statement becomes a mantra, and it is the touchstone that you will return to, even if you have to do so a million times.   Try it with me now:

“I don’t know when or how I am going to do this, but I know that I can, and I know that I will.”

This is the point at which you merge Step One and Step Two.  This is the time to become so deeply committed to eventually making the leap that you come to a point in which you get more excited about doing it than relieved if you don’t. What I am about to write is very important, so I am putting it in bold. . . This journey is NOT about not being scared.  Move the letters around and let being SCARED become SACRED.  Be willing to commit to your leap, even though it terrifies you, as fearlessness is not about being in the absence of fear, but the willingness to move forward through the fear that you are feeling.

Bring some mindfulness to the moments in which you are racked with fright– ask yourself, “How is fear operating in me now?”  Learn to identify when you’re feeling fear, and what it keeps you from doing.  And not just what it keeps you from doing in terms of your leap.  What does it keep you from doing in your every day life?   Does it keep you from singing Karaoke?  From asking out your office crush at the water cooler?  To doing something different than your normal, every day routine?

Ask yourself some important questions:

1) What is the worst thing that could happen if I make this leap?

2) Can I believe that even if this leap creates challenges for me, it is still important to make it?

3) Even if things appear, at times, like they’ve gone horribly wrong as a result of taking this leap, can I trust that all is still well at my soul level?

4) Can I have the patience with and love for myself to see this through, even if the worst thing happens?

5) If I don’t make this leap, will I regret it for the rest of my days?

If the answer to any of these questions is “NO”, it doesn’t mean you should talk yourself out of it, or let someone else talk you out of it.  These questions are food for thought, and they will help ground you in your decision making.  What you are trying to determine here is if you are moving (or not moving) forward from a place of love or fear.  Ask yourself each question, s-l-o-w-l-y.  And answer the questions even more s–l–o–w–l–y.  Take your time.  At different times, sit down with each one of these questions on a card in front of you and while you breathe in and out for five minutes on the couch doing nothing else but breathing in and out and sitting on the couch, contemplate each question.

If you find yourself thinking (or writing– this is a great journaling exercise) that the worst thing that could happen is that you die alone, discovered three weeks later half devoured by your own cats who you were sure loved you once, your body found only because a neighbor noticed the smell and called the authorities–though this is a possible outcome, it is most likely a thought borne out of fear, and not love.  This is a most important differentiation.

Am I doing this out of fear or love?

If we could all ask ourselves this question before we do anything. . . our lives would look very, very different.  That is probably the most important discernment there is in this world, truly.  But that’s another blog entry.

If you haven’t already, now would be a good time to start a vision board.  Go get old magazines from the library, and splurge on a couple of new ones.  Go take photographs that represent feelings, relationships, or things that you want, or that feel important to you– things you hope will happen as a result of making your leap.  Draw, paint, sculpt, write, or dance what this leap looks like, feels like, tastes like, and put whatever media that feel right on a big piece of poster board. Add to it every time you see something that inspires you.  If you prefer Pinterest to poster board, go for it– but make sure you access that page frequently, so you have it near you to remind you of why you want to make the leap in the first place.

Now take a breath.  Inhale.  And exhale.  One more time.  Inhale.  And exhale.

Now commit to that leap!

Be well,