Not So Great Expectations

Many years ago during my psychology internship, I was struggling with the cumulative effects of prolonged stressors. I was sitting with my supervisor, listening to one of my taped client sessions (remember cassette tapes?!) pausing the tape to say I was disappointed in my performance; that I’d expected more from myself.

I’ll never forget what she said next.

She said, “I’m sitting here listening to this tape. You need to hear me when I say that what you’re expecting form yourself is going to get in the way of what is clearly already good work with your clients..”

That was so incredibly helpful. I do my best to apply her words in my life now. Not just with clients, but in everything I’m doing.

I still catch myself having lofty expectations of myself and then thinking I’m not doing a good enough job. It can stop me in my tracks.

We can become immobilized and stop doing something that was already great if we tell ourselves it’s not good enough.

It’s a thing. We have to work with it. If we don’t keep expectations in check, they get out of control, and they take control.

Gently telling that little voice (a big voice, sometimes) that you’re doing just fine and what you’re putting out to the world is enough will help you keep being what you’re being and doing what you’re doing. It will temporarily quiet that voice, freeing you to move in that moment.

If you think you might be struggling with overly high expectations, give that a shot. For a little extra support, put your hand on your heart when you say that to yourself.

Always being transparent, I’ll say it’s not like the high expectations go away completely. This is a practice that you’ll continually have to work. But it does work, if you do it.

Enjoy,